Well for those who know me you won't find this as a shock, others will just think I'm crazy and most just won't understand. After completing my 5th surrogacy journey only a month ago I am already having a hard time really walking away. Steve says I have to stay away from the support groups, online surrogacy boards, etc to be able to completely move on.
I personally think making a choice one way or the other is whats bothering me. Why do I have to label it? Why do I HAVE to make a choice one way or the other? I don't have to label it or choose to do another one or not so thats what I am going to do. I don't have any desire to match with a couple and do another journey any time soon. I want to enjoy my life and family with out being pregnant, I have been basically cycling or pregnant for 2 years and I missed a lot.
I don't think I will ever do another journey because I don't think I will ever find the right match with the criteria I would want/need. I have had some amazing couples and Jen and Jeff set the bar so high I don't think anyone could reach it. lol
At this point I am saying it ...... I am not retired but I am also not moving forward in surrogacy either. I am just hanging out enjoying my life. If it is in God's will for me to carry again than I will and if not I am sure he has something else in store for me, either way my arms are wide open ready to embrace life.
About Me
- Kristina
- I am a mommy to two amazing children and happily married for over 10 years. I am a surrogate who has brought eight wonderful surro-babies into the world and one sweet angel baby. My blog follows my life as a surrogate sharing the good the bad and everything in between. I work hard, play harder and live life to the fullest!
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I so completely understand. And I think getting to a place of peace is only a possibility when we stop making our own plans and just rely on God to open and close doors.
ReplyDeleteYou have lots of company on the path to letting God completely control your life and be the only decision maker.
Hugs!
You're good -- I have to label everything and decide what I would like to do, or else I feel out of control. At the end of my first surrogacy, I had to decide if I would do it again, and I had to decide ASAP for my own sanity. I don't like not knowing what to expect, ha!
ReplyDeleteDig the new layout, too! ;)
I am very much a control person so letting it go and letting God take control is very hard but it beats stressing and worrying about whats next. :P
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