Sixth Surrogacy * Transfer Day

On November 30th Steve and I got up early to get the kids ready and drop Gaige off at daycare. We stopped for some breakfast and than headed up to Texas Fertility for the big transfer day of J & E little embryo's. I was feeling good and excited that Steve was coming a long, this was the first time he was able to go on a transfer with me all the other ones were out of state and he stayed behind with the kids.

We get there and I have my lucky socks on and J & E are actually just getting over being sick so their cheering and supporting me while trying to stay away and not get me sick. :p

The embryo's looked ok had 12 cells on them each and I was worrying about twins even more now. By this time I was so excited and ready to go they could have put 5 in (j/k). Everything went smoothly and after a short resting period we loaded up and Steve drove me home. The drive home was so stressful because it was 4pm on a Friday in Austin and it took us double the time to get home. I felt stressed and tired but once I got home I laid in bed, watched movies and Steve took care of everything.

Well after the long wait of 10 days the news came in today that the transfer did not take and I am NOT pregnant. I am so sad for J & E and I wasn't prepared myself, I was so worried about having twins I never prepared myself for it not happening at all. :(

So now I stop all meds and wait for a new plan. There are 3 frozen embryos so I am hoping in January we can try again.

Sixth Surrogacy * The Beginning

As I sit here nervous, excited and a bit anxious the night before my next transfer of my 6th journey it has actually hit me that I'm doing another journey. lol

I have been happy with my job at SS matching couples and sharing in the journey with my surrogates. Living through them, experiencing transfers and waiting for two pink lines was enough for me. Once a couple really tugged at my heart strings and I did tell them I would carry for them if i couldn't find them the right match. However I did but it was just a reminder that at any moment God could place another couple in my path to help. We have had such an eventful and crazy last year that the time never really seemed right anyways and I was looking into getting a tummy tuck as a gift to myself. :P

Then in early August that moment came and with out even looking or seeking for them there they were my next couple. Their story really touched me as it was almost identical to J & J my last couple I carried for. I thought to myself maybe I won't like them and it will be easy to walk away from as I just wasn't sure I wanted to do another journey. I constantly went back and fourth through this past year yes I will no I won't and than in the summer I had decided to just leave it up to God and went about my life.

We met for lunch on August 31st at one of my favorite places Gruene, Tx and even though Steve was working about 15mins into our meet up Steve had a break in his schedule and comes walking up. One I love when he surprises me like that and two I was so glad he was able to meet them to. His opinion is very important to me and since I didn't know what direction I wanted to go I needed his input even more. After a wonderful lunch I realized how much I liked them and how much they needed me. We were a prefect fit and Steve thought so to. :)

In September we quickly breezed through contracts and evaluations however came to a huge hurdle during my routine screening appt. on September 14th. Just like with J & J everything was going smoothly until the antibody issue came up and I was for sure my journey was over but they stuck by me and now have perfectly healthy 1yo twins. But this time it was a little more serious than running some test and understanding the risk, I had polyps on my uterus and I had to have surgery to remove. Not only is it very costly but if they got in there and it was more sever or they damaged my uterus I would never be able to carry again. I was so upset, I cried, felt guilty that something was wrong with me when I was suppose to be the one making everything better for them and most of all I was very nervous about the procedure.

It was scheduled for October 16th and thankfully everything went smoothly (although I got sick the entire way home and we had to stop like 10 times) and on October 30th I was cleared to move forward. During this time of the unknown is when it really hit me that I wanted to carry again. I understood that while its a blessing to me and my family its a gift the Lord has called upon me and at any moment he could take it away. I thought about never having life grow in my womb again, never giving birth and watching a family grow through the miracle of surrogacy. That moment of having the choice taken from me was heart breaking. Once I recovered and was cleared my heart was in it and with my IP's by my side we moved forward with the plan to transfer 1 embryo in November. We had five 3 day frozen embryos which I was happy about but a little discouraged that they didn't make it to 5 days but I was thankful we had 5. :)

I started medication, first birth control than estrace on November 9th and than added progesterone on the 27th. We found out that because the embryos are only 3 dayers the clinic did not recommend only transferring one that it greatly lessened our chances of pregnancy. :( They said we could thaw the embryos out and push them to 5 days and than do a single embryo transfer however the last five they tried to push to 5 days didn't make it so now we are looking at transferring two 3 dayers and looking at a chance of carrying twins again. I know the % is a lot less than my last journey with prefect fresh 5 day embryos but it still make me nervous. I want to bless them with a baby just not two. lol

J & E live in Austin and we are using a clinic in Austin to its the first time I've used a local clinic. They have a son and I can not wait to give him a brother or sister. So here we are the night before with my heart 100% in this journey at 12:00 tomorrow I will be making a baby for J & E. We can use all the prayers we can get, let God's will be upon us!

Maddie & Josh * First 6 months

Maddie & Josh's first 6 months! 

(Josh going home August 8th @ 8 days old)

(Maddie going home August 29th @ 29 days old)

All settled in at home!

I just adore these babies!

SNUGGLES!!!!!!

Time has gone by so fast! They are happy, healthy babies and I feel so blessed to be able to watch them grow. 

Surrogate Solutions

I swear I have a dream job, working at Surrogate Solutions is everything I thought it would be its the best job. I LOVE sharing in the couples journey and being a support for surrogates. I have done a lot of work since starting in August but I am at the point where my first couple is off and running, I have a few more matches and more getting processed and its just great. Surrogate Solutions has such a great reputation and I love working with Gayle.

San Antonio has gotten so busy so while I am moving to Houston I know I will be here a lot because I have so much work and the clinics are great. :)

Its been stressful and super busy between work, moving and my family but I hope to be settled in and getting a balance restored back to my life come March.

No more contact * Alex & Aiden

The boys birthday came and went on January 1st (born 1/1/05) and as always I try to touch base and see how they are doing. Sadly I think the relationship has ended, I tried to contact several different ways but got no responce. I was rather shocked as there has always been some contact even if just a simple picture and mini update. I have always said I respect the parents choice to have me in their lives or not but I can say it hurts to be shut out. This journey was my second surrogacy and first set of twins I carried, they were special to me and I wish them all the best and pray they have amazing lives.

Fifth Surrogacy ~ Madelyn & Joshua / Twins are here

After 52 days of bed rest at 34 weeks 5 days pregnant I was woken up at 2:45 in the morning with contractions. I had been having contractions on and off for the past week so I just tried to go back to sleep thinking these to would stop soon. Then I had 3 back to back and these hurt a little more than the others so I decided to time them. At 3am I started watching the clock and they were about 10mins apart, they quickly went to 8mins apart and hurt more. I got up to walk around thinking a change in position would help and about that time I heard a noise, wasn't sure what it was so I walked towards the hallway and I heard it again. It was coming from Rylee's room so I opened the door and it was Brodi (our dog) he ran out and began running circles around me. It was so weird specially since he never wakes up in the middle of the night. He than begun running around the house he knew something was happening how crazy is that. Steve took him outside by this time its was about 3:45am my contractions were still coming strong and I told Steve maybe I will take a shower so I walked into the bathroom had another huge contraction walked out of the bathroom and said nope no shower its time, I know I am in labor. Just by luck my brother was spending the night so he was able to stay with the kids while everyone slept so Steve and I loaded in the truck and off the the hospital we went.  By this time my contractions were 5mins apart and hurt badly, Steve was driving like well a man who's driving his wife who is in labor with twins to the hospital praying her water doesn't break in his truck. lol We pull up to the entrance and they have one entrance blocked off (which is the one we have always used to get to labor and delivery) he misses the turn has to jump the curb and totally looks like a panicked first time dad type of thing it actually made me laugh. Since I have always been induced this was our first in the middle of the night I'm in labor drive to the hospital. Hehehehehehe

We called the parents and my mom to let them know it was go time, as soon as I got there they checked me and I was 5cm and 90% effaced. They did a sono and baby B was not head down or breach he was transverse, my OB was not on call but the on call OB said if I wanted to I could attempt a vaginal delivery and hope baby B went head down after baby A was delivered. I very much wanted a vaginal delivery but I also wanted to do what J & J thought was best for their babies. It was a very hard choice to make specially when your having contractions every 5mins but in the end I chose the c-section because I didn't want to take the chance of having a vaginal delivery for one baby and c-section for the next or something happening to one of the babies. 

 

I got the epidural and as always it worked miracles but this time my blood pressure dropped and I got very nauseated. They would only let two people in the OR and I didn't want to decide who so I left it up to them plus my mom wasn't there yet. This was the first time I had labored with out my mom which is probably another reason why my anxiety level was so high. They decided J (mommy) and Steve would go back so I could have someone to support me. I went back and as I sat in the OR while everything was prepped I began to cry and got very upset, I felt sick and kept second guessing my choice. Finally Steve came in and held my hand and talked to me I don't remember what he or J were saying but I know it helped. I remember closing my eyes as he rubbed my head and then I heard a baby cry, OMGosh its already happening baby A is here and 1min later baby B is right behind. I did find out that as soon as baby A came out Baby B went breach so had I delivered her vaginally I would have delivered him via c-section so in the end we made the right choice.

Madelyn

 Joshua

Madelyn was delivered at 7:10am weighing 5lbs 11oz and 19inches long and at 7:11am Joshua came in at 5lbs 3oz also 19inches long. I got to see both babies very quickly and then they headed off to the NICU in stable condition with their mommy and daddy right behind them. I know I laid there for a while longer with Steve by my side by I don't remember details and then before I knew it I was going to recovery. The epidural wore off fast, I had lost a lot of blood and I was in a lot of pain and still feeling very badly. I should have Steve write about the post delivery part since I don't remember most of it. lol My IP's did put us in a beautiful past pardon suite so that we could all be together yet still have our own space. I slept a lot, got sick and felt horrid most of the day. I wanted to go see the babies but I just couldn't but my IP's shared lots of photos with me and kept me updated.

I know some women choose c-section over vaginal delivery but I would never be one of them and not because of the pain of the surgery or recovery but simply because I felt robbed of giving birth to the babies. I have always had such a wonderful labor and delivery experience with lots of joy and happiness and this delivery was scary and I don't even remember most of it. Despite the delivery this journey has been beyond amazing more than I could have ever asked for and that in its self makes up for the delivery.

Thank you Jeff & Jen

Fifth Surrogacy ~ Madelyn & Joshua / Bed rest

Posted June 10, 2011

So yesterday's OB appt at 27wks 2 days didn't go so smoothly or as planned. My cervix which was closed and thick two weeks ago has now softened and is starting to dilate and I was sent home to be on bed rest. I told my doctor I have slowed down so much in the past 3 weeks I don't understand how this is happening and he said the problem is I am such a busy active person that my slowing it down is most people's normal daily pace. I have never been on bed rest and while most people would love the idea of not working and relaxing on the couch its a depressing thought for me. My pregnancies have never really held me back before they just become apart of my life and now this one is taking over. I want nothing more than for these babies to stay in till August and while I dread bed rest I will gladly do it to ensure these babies health.

I don't think the "bed rest" requirements have set in for my family yet and I have to say I am a little nervous about the strain it may put on everyone. Even after talking about it with Steve he asked me to take something back to walmart since it broke and then wanted us all to go get ice cream. Gaige certainly doesn't get it and honestly Rylee has been the most accepting. She has already started being the mother hen bringing me food and drinks and asking what I need. I know I have a lot of support from my whole family and I have great supportive friends and while I hate "needing" people I think the only way we are going to make it through this is if we all do it together.

I realize that focusing on a long term goal like making it to 40wks is to stressful so I have decided to take little steps and set little goals to help us all stay positive. So at this point our first goal is 28wks which will put us in the 3rd trimester :)

I gained another 5lbs so that puts me at a total of 15lbs, my belly is measuring 36wks and both babies sounded great.

Today is my first full day of bed rest ....... so here we go one day at a time!

Posted on June 14, 2011

Today is day 5 of home bound bed rest and well its been a stressful 5 days. No one was prepared for bed rest and for sure not this soon. I think we all just expected this twin pregnancy to go like the last one. Its very hard to lay in bed and not be able to help even with the simplest of things. Before Steve had a major melt down my mom stepped in and like a true women got everything settled down and worked out. Its not funny really but I did laugh inside a couple times watching Steve try to balance the kids, the house, chores and going to the grocery store all in one day. Let me tell you how he did it, he dropped Rylee off with Aunti Linda, Gaige with my mom, Matt did the yard work and he was doing laundry till midnight. I will say he did a great job getting everything we needed even my prenatal vitamins at the store. He complained and was cranky most of the day and while in his mind he thinks we spilt things 50/50 I hope during this experience he realizes its not 50/50 and while I don't mind doing more normally (when I am not pregnant) I really need him right now and now is the time he can take care of me. Yesterday was a better day over all everything seemed more balanced and went smoothly. I think with each day things will get better.

When I was growing up my mom used to say it takes a village to raise children. I grew up very close to my grandmother she was like my other parent and I had lots of Aunts and Uncles and I look back and realize how supportive my family has always been for all of us. I often need that village and when I need them the most my family is there specially my mom and I couldn't imagine raising my kids any other way. 

My work has also been very supportive which is a huge weight off my shoulders. I have a great assistant holding down the fort and a wonderful boss that allows me to concentrate on the babies instead of stressing about work.

As far as me specifically bed rest sucks :P its hard and most would think laying in bed is relaxing well its not. I try to rotate my time starting with coming down for breakfast in the morning and spending the morning and early afternoon on the couch. Then I work my way back to bed after lunch till everyone is home and its time for dinner. I do come down for dinner but by that time of the day my back is killing me and I will take a shower and get back in bed for some play/cuddle time with my little man. I keep myself busy with the tv, computer, gonna finish a book I started a year ago and I got a new bible study to do.

I have to do the 3 hour glucose test, get blood work done for my thyroid and my regular OB appt so it will be nice to get out of the house.

Last night was rough I had lots of braxton hick contractions and was very uncomfortable to the point where I did call the on call OB and almost went to the hospital. I ended up falling asleep waiting for him to call back (took like 45mins) and after hours of being uncomfortable things seemed to be settling down so I just went to sleep. The babies were VERY active during this time so I am hoping in all that punching and kicking each other baby boy went head down. Hope today and tonight is better!

A big update is we are 7 months today and in the 3rd trimester! WOOHOO

Post on June 23, 2011

Todays appointment went great I brought Rylee with me and the twins mom was also there. Although I am on day 14 of bed rest it is paying off as my cervix has stayed a 1cm and both babies are doing great. I didn't gain any weight and my blood pressure is good. I have had a couple episodes of braxton hicks contracts and thankfully there not making any change so I'm just sucking it up and dealing with them.

While there is still time I am getting very nervous about baby boy not turning head down and needing a c-section. I am so anxious about having a c-section for a couple of reason, I love labor and delivery its such a magical time and I don't want to give that up plus I am scared of the surgery and the recovery. I can't even bring myself to look up information on it because I think it will freak me out more. So please say some prayers for me that this little guy turns.

My belly is measuring 38wks already and I have hit the uncomfortable stage and I am very tired. My back hurts a lot and when the babies decided to stretch out ..... ouch talk about painful it feels like they are ripping my muscles. I have to retake the glucose test again next week and pray I don't get sick again so we can be done with this.

I am so excited to report that I got clearance to go to J's baby shower, I can't wait to meet everyone but most of all I can't wait to see J glowing with happiness cause her dreams are finally coming true. Everyone is so excited for these babies and I love that, they are such a deserving family.


Posted on July 21, 2011

I am 33wks and on day 41 of bed rest and we are trucking along. We had some preterm labor on July 5th at 31wks and had a lovely stay in L&D. The labor was brought on by a UTI infection I had so I was given antibiotics and the babies were given two rounds of steroids for their lungs to help mature in case they couldn't stop the labor or I went into labor again. I was so happy to find out during all the scary news that baby boy had turned and is head down plus the babies were 4lbs each. So now here we are at 33wks, both babies head down and at 32wks I was only 1cm still. They have dropped in the past week so the pressure down there is incredibly intense and I feel like they are going to fall out. lol At this point I figure the babies are at least 5lbs each and they are moving like little rock stars in there. We have a MFM appt on Monday and I can't wait to see how they are doing and then a OB appt on Thursday to check my cervix. Next week we will be 34wks and thats a huge goal for lung maturity so that makes me very happy.

Steve had his family reunion and took the kids on his own. I was so proud of him because I know its hard to do everything alone specially with a toddler but the kids really deserved this fun time and being with family is important. Gaige is having a hard time with us not really having a routine, its difficult to drop him off at daycare he has major melt downs and cries. When he is picked up he is happy and tells you all about his day, talks about his friends so I know he is having fun and the crying isn't lasting long but its still hard. He doesn't like me being pregnant and wants the babies to come out. While I am enjoying this pregnancy to the very end as its my last it will be nice when I am back at work, Rylee is in school and Gaige is back to a strict routine so things will go more smoothly.

Being pregnant plus bed rest is hard you give up a lot more than one would think but it will be so worth it when I get to hand J & J their precious little monkeys in just a few short weeks.