Fifth Surrogacy ~ Madelyn & Joshua / 2nd-6th months

Posted in April & May 2011

I know its been FOREVER since I last blogged but I haven't really been in the mood but here's a quick update.

It is TWINS!

The pregnancy has gone very smoothly and any issues we thought we were going to have with the antibody isn't even a concern to anyone. As always I was very sick the first trimester and I still am a little bit but with the zofran it doesn't even seem to phase me.

The first trimester I craved fruit and smoothie drinks like crazy I couldn't get enough and I wanted nothing to do with meat. My baby bump popped out early and before long everyone knew I was pregnant. Now that I'm in the second trimester I crave salads, I have one almost everyday and I still try to have fruit smoothies a few times a week to help with my calorie in take. I have more energy and want to do my normal things but it doesn't take long before I am just wiped out. The one thing that has been a constant is my love for orange juice, I drink a glass or two everyday and it hits the spot which is so weird cause while I like it, its not something I drank all the time.

Here I am at 2, 3 and 4 months pregnant and I feel great! I have gained 6lbs so far but I am sure I will start putting on more weight in the coming weeks. Today we had our 19 week ultra sound and the babies look great. Both are healthy, measuring right on track and very active. They are 11oz and there is one BOY and one GIRL :) The parents are over the moon excited and this journey has by far been the best. I love having them so close and feel like they are really able to be apart of this pregnancy. Next week will be the half way mark for us and I hope everything keeps going as smoothly as its been.

Here is my belly at 5 & 6 months along! :)

So in the past week I have noticed a huge change in the pregnancy I will be 25wks in 2 days but in one week I feel like a month has past. I am very emotional, my body is very tired and I feel huge. The babies are so active and I can't wait to catch them on video for their parents to see. At our last appt their mommy got to feel them move and kick so that was great. At this point everything is hard to do, going up the stairs I have to sit down and rest before I can do whatever it is i went up there to do. Going on walks is now out unless its to the mail box, I can't carry Gaige, i can't see or touch my toes and before when I over did it I could sense a change in my body now my back starts hurting and my lower belly starts cramping. I know I have to slow down but its so hard, some days I feel like I am just watching my life happen and I can't be apart of it. It can be over whelming but then I remember how important this is to me and how worth it this will all be in the end. I am used to slowing down just not this early but after barely making it through HEB to grocery shop I realize that the babies have taken over my body. lol I depend on Steve and Rylee a lot and thats hard for me so at 25weeks I am taking off the super mom cape and putting these babies first so we all get our happy ending.

At out last appt at 23wks my belly was measuring 31wks already, both babies were good and I had gained another 4lbs putting me at 10lbs total. I am very anxious for June to get here because we have a MFM appt and i love to see the babies on sono and check every each of them for growth plus we have a OB appt and I have to do the glucose test so needless to say the first week of June will be crazy busy.

I am in a support group with women who are all surrogates and due around me and its been a hard week because two of the girls also carrying twins are on bed rest already. One at home and the other in the hospital and another one who is carrying triplets delivered already at 24wks. So while a support group is great sometimes it can make things more emotional and it makes me worry about all the what ifs.

Some weeks seem to fly by while others drag on but the pregnancy as a whole seems to be going so fast and I enjoying it because I know this is my last.

Fun U/S Appt 

So today at 26 weeks 3 days (6.5 months) we had a u/s appt which are always great because we get to actually see the babies. Baby Girl is very active and Baby Boy is still breech. I pray every night he goes head down but I know we still have some time so I am not in panic mode just yet. At my last OB appt I was a little shocked to find out my belly was measuring 33 weeks but todays appt explains a lot. Baby girl is already 2lbs 7oz measuring 27 weeks 6 days and Baby boy is 2lbs 4oz measuring 27 weeks which puts them in the 60% category and for twins thats awesome.

I was so worried about not taking in enough healthy calories specially in the first trimester when I was so sick that I ate a lot of high calorie fruit smoothies and well the babies are loving it apparently. It feels great to go to each appt and see how well the babies are doing and seeing J & J so happy, I feel so blessed to be able to carry for them.

On another note Gaige is very fascinated with the pregnancy and my belly. He tells me at least once a week to take the babies out so he can get in my belly. He wants a turn to be the baby in my tummy and just last week told me he wanted a brother, I told him he had a sister and thats all he was getting. I often ask him who's babies are in my tummy to help him understand and he always says J & J but the other day he asked (I don't remember his exact words) why J & J's babies were in my tummy. Its like it clicked to him that these were their babies but wait why are they in your tummy. After I got over the shock he even asked me this I quickly said that J's tummy was broken so God put the babies in my tummy to grow and soon they would come out and go home with J & J. This 3 year old is giving me a run for my mommy thats for sure, he is to smart for his own good. The cutest thing he does is when he wants the babies to wake up he lifts my shirt up and when he wants them to go to sleep he makes me cover up my belly. Its so cute!

Our 28 week milestone is coming very quickly which will put us in the 3rd trimester, so exciting and I can't believe how fast time is going by. So far my cervix is doing great no signs of any type of preterm labor but knowing my history and if the babies keep growing at the rate they are i really believe we will be delivering again around the 35-36wk mark.

Fifth Surrogacy ~ Madelyn & Joshua / We're Pregnant

Posted in January 2011

IM = Intended mother / IF = Intended father / IP's = Intended parents / IVF = Invitro fertilization

I am so excited to announce that after one round of IVF I am pregnant for J & J!

On December 19th we transferred 2 perfect quality embryo's, it was exciting and I was so glad that my IM could be with me. Our trip together was great and I very much enjoyed getting to know her. 

On the 5th day (12/24th) after the transfer I tested and got a very faint positive over the next few days I test 2 some times 3 times a day (yes I am crazy) just waiting to see the line get darker on day 6 it was dark but by day 7 it was as dark as the control line on the test, I thought to myself we did it. On 12/27/10 I went in for the first blood test and it was 170 YAY I was indeed pregnant. That number is high for just one baby but on the low side for twins so it could go either way and then today 12/29/10 10 days after transfer our beta was 326 and on 12/31/10 12 days after transfer the beta was 746. Holy snapple I think there might just be two in there but I am really hoping for just one healthy little baby.

 

I started feeling nauseous Friday night and then it hit full force on Saturday and hasn't let up yet so I am very confident in this pregnancy. I started taking zofran and I am hoping it will help to make this first trimester easier. It just amazes me how quickly the body changes and I don't know if its because this is my 7th pregnancy but its just crazy to be sick so soon, super tired and already wanting certain foods.

We have a ultra sound on Friday (1/14/11) and both parents will be there and I am so very excited to share this moment with them, I should be far enough along that we should be able to see a heart beat.

So here we are 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow and in the first trimester!

Fifth Surrogacy ~ Madelyn & Joshua

Posted in November of 2010

After the loss of Emily I knew I wanted to do another journey so I started looking thinking it would take a while. I couldn't imagine the last child I would ever deliver would be a sleeping angel and that all the happiness that surrogacy had brought me was over shadowed by this terrible situation. I always wanted to do surrogacy because it was a passion for me now I need to do a surrogacy, I need that happy ending for me and a wonderful set of intended parents (IP's) that deserve this gift.

I started looking in July, I had my list of what I was looking for and most importantly I wanted a local couple that was going to be apart of the process. I signed up with a couple local agencies hoping that would increase my chance of finding a local couple and it did I actually got a lot of response but it seemed no one was right. I talked and even met with a few couples but the spark just wasn't there. I started to think I would never find the right couple and not because I wasn't patient but because I didn't trust them. I realize these were couples I would have worked with in a heart beat in the past but now I am picking them to pieces and it was my fear. I got an email from a lady responding to an Ad I had placed in August, she had a couple that she wanted to know if I would work with. I sent her my information but didn't hear anything back, I decided I needed to back off and stop looking I was to emotional and I needed to place it in God's hands. In early September I got a email from the same lady about that couple again she said they were in San Antonio and liked my profile I was excited as we seemed to agree on all the big stuff and they were ready to move forward now. That night or the next day I can't remember I called the intended mom (IM) who we will call J to talk to her and then we decided to meet for dinner. That week we met for dinner with our spouses in tow and FINALLY there was the spark there was that immediate "this is the couple for me" feeling I had always gotten in the past. There were no red flags and everything just felt so right so we were MATCHED.

Since we are not going through a agency a lot of communication is done directly between us and not a 3rd person which is something I am not used to but it has proved to be awesome I love not having the middle man in all our business. Contracts were done and screening was also done in October and we are on our way or so we thought. I was excited to be using a local clinic here in SA but quickly realized things were not going to move very quickly with this clinic and they seemed to put up more hurdles for us than helping us get things in order. We decided it would be best to use the Florida clinic that they already had a relationship with and things once again started moving forward. I was excited to start medication on the 10th of November and I have already had a lining check is everything is good we are looking to transfer mid to late December.

However last week we hit another hurdle, I got a call from the clinic that my blood work showed I carried the JKB Kidd antigen and if the intended father (IF) who we will call J has it, it will affect the baby. Basically my red blood cells start attacking the baby causing anemia, from what we have read it looks like it would be a minor issue but now we wait for the blood results from J to come in and then talk with a specialist. So at this point we may have come all this way for our journey to already be over. :( I am trying to stay positive and pray for God's will over this journey but its hard because I feel like this is the best couple for me and I know I can give them a baby. They have gone through so much and are so deserving! I am still staying on track with medication and appointments as we wait to hear something hopefully this week.

So in a nut shell in July I started looking for IP's, in September I was matched, in October contracts were signed and screening was done, now in November I started medication and we are suppose to have our first transfer in December.

I communicate almost everyday in some way either phone, text, FB or email with one or both of my IP's. I have truly enjoyed getting to know them and pray our journey is just the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

WE WILL BE MOVING FORWARD!

We haven't gotten the results back on the JKB Kidd antigen but decided either way our journey will continue.

While we are taking a risk by moving forward we are all aware of the risk and after getting medical options we all feel the risk are low. The risk of the antibody effecting the baby is low and if it does there is monitoring and procedures that can be done throughout the pregnancy to help the baby. Its a scary place to be in but because I feel God has placed me where I am I have faith that he will bless us and any future pregnancy. On the down side of this all I feel like even when we do get pregnant J & J are going to be so nervous about "if" something is going to happen it will take away from the sheer fact that they are actually pregnant. Fear is a powerful emotion, one that can rob us and many things and I pray it doesn't rob them of the wonderful experience of a pregnancy.

I am excited that in just a couple of days it will be December and the count down to our first IVF attempt will be here. My IM will be traveling with me and while its not the first time I have had an IM by my side it has been a while and I am happy she will be with me.

Fourth Surrogacy ~ Emily * Our Angel Baby

I want to share my story so that my 4th journey will have meaning, so that Emily will never be forgotten, so other surrogates don't make the same mistakes and so IP's understand 100% where a surrogates heart comes from.

Surrogacy is a huge part of who I am, outside of what I do as a wife and mother it completes me as a person. So when I decide to do another journey as always I put my heart into it. Little did I know when I started my 4th journey it would end up breaking me and leaving me with a emptiness that will never heal. When I matched with my IP's they had 5 frozen embryo's left, they had gone through 12 years and infertility and already had one surrogate not be able to get pregnant for them. I thought to myself that I knew I could give them a baby so I took a chance to work with them. After 3 rounds of IVF, using all 5 embryo's, a chemical pregnancy on 2/25/10 we got our first positive beta of 238 and on 3/1/10 second beta of 608. We were finally having a healthy pregnancy and I was so happy the stress of knowing you are the last chance someone has at children is a heavy burden to carry.

By 6 weeks pregnant we could see two heart beats and I was over the moon but by 8 weeks pregnant we had lost one of the babies. I thought going through a chemical pregnancy was hard but seeing a little heart beat and knowing this baby had life and then knowing it passed away inside you was almost unbearable. I was devastated and found it hard to be happy as I felt my body had failed me.

As my belly grew and the surviving baby thrived I found that happy place again and even though I was terribly sick I was happy to be pregnant but my happiness was short lived when out of the blue I was asked by my IP's to have a amino done at 15 weeks and that is when my hell began. I agreed to the test because I wanted my IP's to see how perfect their baby was and start enjoying this pregnancy and maybe even start being apart of it since as of that point they had not been to any of the transfers, OB appointments or sonograms. 2 weeks later I got the news that something was wrong but they didn't know what, my IP's asked for further testing weeks and weeks went by and the not knowing started to make me feel like a basket case of emotions. The pregnancy consumed me and the unknown was breaking me down. At 21 weeks I was out of town for work when I got the call that the precious baby who was now moving and kicking so hard we could feel it from the outside was indeed sick but again they couldn't tell us exactly what she had. I sat paralyzed in the car, crying, I couldn't move, I couldn't think and my heart was broken. I called my IP's and as much as I tried to keep it together I couldn't I cried uncontrollably as I gave my IM the news. Within a hour I was on a plane back home and the next day I met with the genetics doctor. With my IP's on speaker phone we were told that she had a 95% of having a major illness because on chromosome 16 there were 15 genes missing. I thought to myself well thats 5% chance she will be perfect but left the appointment knowing my IP's had to make a choice.

The next day I got a call from the agency that my IP's had decided to terminate the pregnancy. I became physically ill I couldn't understand why they weren't willing to fight for her life, why they wanted to give up after everything I had gone through for them and the fact that we were 5 months pregnant. She has finger and toes, I've seen her face and she loves to be awake at night this is a baby, a special person how could they take her life. I called the lawyers there was no way in hell I was letting them take her life. I was morally against this and the thought was more than I could bare. Later I got a email and a call from my IM telling me why and how they came to their choice. I could hear in her voice the hurt and pain they to were living. I realized at that moment that it wasn't my choice because she wasn't my child. I didn't have the right to make life choices for her and as hard as it was for me to understand they were doing what they thought was best for her.

Once I realized this was going to happen I was sick by the thought of the process of a D & E I couldn't imagine them breaking her into pieces and ripping her from my womb. This was a child sick or not how could I let that happen to her. I made the choice to be induced and go through full labor so she could stay as pure and precious as she was inside my womb. I needed to see her, I needed to hold her and tell her I was sorry I couldn't save her life. That I loved her so much and that she would forever have a place in my heart.

My IP's flew in, it was the first time I had seen them since we met at the agency. I asked them to be there not sure why I wanted them there but they came. My mom drove me to the appointment, my IM and I went back and at 9:30am on 6/29/10 her heart was stopped. I cried through the entire procedure, a part of me died on that table that day. From that point I went over to the hospital to be induced and I never shed a tear I was num and broken. My IP's sat quitlely in the room and my mom and best friend kept me chatting and my mind busy. At 1:00 I was given the meds to start the induction before all of the pills disolved I was having side effects, uncontrolable shaking, I got a fever and a constant cramping feeling. Then it went away and for hours we just sat there. At 6pm I was checked and hadn't made any change they gave me another round of meds and again I got all the side effects but this time the cramping & contractions never stopped. It was constant totally different than what I had felt before, I didn't know if I was in labor or not but it hurt like hell. I kept telling myself once I know I am in active labor I will get the epidural. At some point I got up to pee and when I wipped there was alittle blood not much so I knew something was happening. About 30 minutes later again I had to pee this time there was more blood. I told the nurse and she said she would check me later this was gonna be a long process. I told my mom something was happening but I laid there in pain waiting about 45mins later I felt really uncomfortable so I got up to go to the bathroom and when I stood up my water broke. My IP's quickly left the room, a nurse came in the check me and said I was 5cm dialated but she still felt the sac I reminded her this was a twin pregnancy and the other sac was still there. She left the room to get another nurse by this time I was very uncomfortable and didn't know what I was feeling. I had always had a epidural by this point in labor and I kept saying I have to go to the bathroom everything happened so fast I don't even remember all the details but I do know that within 10mins of my water breaking I was about to deliver. I remember saying where the hell did all the nurses go, my friend said it wasn't that I needed to go to the bathroom it was the pressure from the baby I was feeling. My mom grabbed the first nurse she saw and by the time they came back the nurse said no time for a epidural the baby was coming out.

With my IP's in the hallway, my mom and best friend by my side a precious angel was delivered at 22wks weighing 1lb 1oz at 9:53pm. She was wrapped in a blanket and handed to me, she was so beautiful and seemed so peaceful. I cried as I told my mom I really thought she was gonna cry and at that moment the reality of the whole situation hit me, my 4th journey was over.

The nurses were great they did everything to make this moment special. My IP's did not want to see or hold her, they even asked for her to be removed from the room so they could come in. They came in to tell me good bye, it was all to much and I think they were barely hanging on. I honestly had nothing to say, I had no emotions and then they were gone. They did not see her, they did not hold her and they did not name her, this was their daughter I just didn't understand. Days earlier my husband had said he dreamed about her and her name was Emily so when the nurse asked if she had a name I said her name is Emily it was perfect. Later they took her away and created a wonderful memory box of her, she was dressed in a little dress and wrapped in a blanket specially made for her. I said my good byes and made a promise to her that everyone would know how special she was.

I later had major complications due to not being able to deliver the placenta and it wasn't until 6am that I was finally able to pass it. I ended up having to stay in the hospital and have a blood transfusion. From Tuesday through Friday I sat in the hospital living in my own silent hell. My IM once made a comment that this would be hard for me but they would have to live with this forever. It made me angry cause although this was their choice I had to live through it and I don't think they realize that they broke me, they broke my spirit and I will never fully get back the part of me that I lost that day on that table.

I ended up in this situation because I did not address the termination process in my contract because I thought it would never happen to me or that I would be ok with their choice. I gave up the rights to my own body, I put my morals aside thinking my IP's would always do right by me as I have always done right by then. The truth is you NEVER know what choice you will make when hell is staring you in the face. IP's should never think that their choices won't effect us as deeply as it does them or that we aren't connected as much as they are because that is simply not true at least not for me. I gave everything in this journey and came out broken, I will never get past this guilt and I will forever regret my choice.

Emily's memory Tree

Third Surrogacy ~ Mateo

My third surrogacy journey began the summer of 2006. After a pretty rough pregnancy carrying twins I took some time to recover and get my body healthy and strong again. We settled into our new house and Rylee started kindergarten life was good. As always the urge to be pregnant came a calling and I signed up with a new agency out of California and within a few months I got a profile on a couple. We didn't meet in person just talked over the phone and via email. I just knew that they would be great parents and knowing how challenging it would be to get pregnant for them made me want it for them even more. IL was in her 40's so while they had frozen embryo's there was only enough for one transfer so if it didn't take she would have to go through another egg retrieval. I flew to Cali to meet IL and V and have a screening done at the clinic. It was nice because it allowed me to get to know them better and get a good feel for the clinic. I went back in April for our first IVF transfer which would be with frozen embryos. Everything went well and I got to spend more time with V and IL and the more time I spent getting to know them the more I liked them. I was so sure it had taken but I was wrong it didn't I was devastated. It was very hard to accept and I knew we only had one more chance and it made me want it even more for them. This time we decided to do a fresh transfer so I had to match my cycle up with IL and once they took her eggs I went in for our second IVF transfer. We found out that they grade of the embryos were very poor quality making the chances of getting pregnant very low. The doctor suggested that we transfer 7 which is alot when normally they do 2 nor more than 3. It was my choice I had to decide because although the embryos were poor quality we were increasing the chances of multiples and I never wanted to be put in the position of doing a selective reduction. As I looked at IL I was determined to get pregnant so I laid back and we transferred 7 poor quality embryos and the 2 week waiting period began. I was so nervous never feeling this way I tested a little early and my faith would come out on top because it did take and I was pregnant and thankfully with only one baby. 

Getting pregnant was hard this time and once again I was sick 24/7 and although in all my other pregnancies it was gone at 12-14 weeks this time it lasted till 29 weeks and it was the first time I had worked through out a pregnancy to. Since they were in another state it made coming to appts hard but they were able to make a few. I had my first amino done due to IL age it was required testing, I was so nervous and scared and heard about people miscarrying after the procedure. The test went smoothly and the results came back fine.

I was so tired and it was hard but working made the pregnancy go by faster however I was put on medical leave from work at 36 weeks because my blood pressure was getting a little high and we wanted to make it a little longer. Since they were out of state, my blood pressure was rising and I did not want them to miss the birth my OB set me up for an induction. 

At 37 weeks on March 20th after 7 hours of labor and 3 pushes baby Mateo was born 6lbs and 17 inches long. 

It was a sweet moment as I watched his parents fall in love with him. IL, V and baby Mateo came to stay with us after we were released from the hospital. The pedi doctor wouldn't release him to fly so while they made arrangements to drive home I got some extra time with them. Like all the others I am blessed to still have a relationship with them and watch him grow.

I will say it was the first time I had a hard time letting go. Since they were coming from out of state I knew they might be staying with us so I had prepared our guest room for them and the baby. Having all the baby stuff in there and then Mateo being there certainly stirred things up for Steve and I.

After they left Steve said he wanted another baby and I agreed. 6 months after having Mateo and 8 years after getting pregnant with our daughter we were finally pregnant again with our own baby. Had Mateo not come to our home we may have never had anymore babies.

Thank you V and IL

Second Surrogacy ~ Alex & Aiden

My second surrogacy journey came as a surprise! After my first surrogacy I didn't really think about doing it again until I got a call from a different agency requesting me as a surrogate. (I guess your name goes in a little black book hahaha that's a joke) They had a couple and wanted to know if I would consider working with them after reviewing their profile in my heart and gut I just wasn't feeling it and declined. It did get me thinking about if I wanted to do another one. I wasn't sure but I told the agency to put me on their active list and I would see how things went. About a month later they had another couple out of Houston and my heart broke for them while reading their profile and all that they had been through. Steve (my husband) and I agreed to meet them in Houston and we all hit it off. They were so out going and I could see them being great parents, they had no children. After a meeting they always want you to take a few days to think about it so no agreements were made but before we left the building that day I knew they were the couple for me. Shortly after we got the ball rolling, it was time for our first IVF. S and I went into the room and we were set to transfer 3 frozen 3 day embryos but the doctor suggested that we only transfer 2 because the quality was really good making the chances of multiples really high. So we transferred the 2 and waited the dreaded 2 week wait however I decided to test before the blood drawn and we got two pink lines. 

Not only did we get pregnant on the first try but we were pregnant with twins! It was hard for S and C to be excited as they had already lost a set of twins that she carried but I was so excited for them but no where close to being prepared for what was coming my way.

 I was once again sick for the first 3 months and stopped working this time at 27 weeks to ensure I could deliver healthy twins. I wasn't on bed rest but my job had me on my feet a lot and my OB didn't want to take any chances. My belly popped right out during the first trimester and at 15 weeks with the parents S and C, Steve and Rylee in the room we found out that they were having twin boys. Rylee was not happy and wanted there to be another baby so it could be a girl. S and C were so great about letting our daughter be apart of things so it would help her understand what was going on. During my first journey she was 2yo barely 3yo but this time she was 5yo. We explained to her that S's belly was broken and that God put their babies in my belly to grow and that when they came they would go home with S and C but that we would visit them. It was so nice having them only a few hours away, having them at the transfer and coming to doctor appts was knew to me. We would go up for visits on the weekend and I was even invited to their baby shower. By the middle of the 2nd trimester I was huge, my back hurt and I couldn't see my feet.

At 30 weeks I went into preterm labor, after medication to stop the labor, medication to help the boys lungs mature faster and bed-rest at the hospital thankfully we were able to stop it . I was able to go home and I tip toed around everything trying not to over do myself or get to tired. I went another 5 weeks and at midnight on new years eve people started popping fire works and it woke me up, I realized I was having contractions and started to time them. Within 30mins I called my OB and he said to go get checked he would rather be safe than sorry. So I waddled on in to labor and delivery and the nurses calming asked me what I was there for, it was so quite I remember. I said I am 35wks pregnant and I think I am in labor. She says ok did your OB send you I said yes I'm pregnant with twins and he wants to make sure I'm not in labor since they already stopped it once. Once I mentioned twins I swear 5 more nurses showed up I was sat in a wheel chair as hooked up within minutes. I was in labor and both babies were head down, I called S and C to let them know it was time I quite laid there with my mom sleeping through my labor holding my legs crossed. The nurse came in and said I can't believe you are sleeping through your labor but if you don't get a epidural now you can't have one and I thought two babies at least 5lbs each coming out vaginally with no drugs hell no! lol I got the epidural and went back to relaxing S and C were all most here which was good cause the babies were coming. They moved me over got everything set up and right as they were closing the door they showed up to watch their sons be born.

After 10 hours of the easiest labor ever at 35 weeks on New Years Day 2005 Alex 6lbs 7oz and Aiden 5lbs 3 oz were born healthy and happy. Never even went to the NICU and actually went home before I did.

We were so lucky to only have them a few hours away but when S took a new job it took them to California. We hope to one day take a trip out to see them soon but enjoy the pictures and videos we see of them on-line.

Thank you S and C

My first Surrogacy Journey ~ Amber

I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mother and once I had my daughter I felt so complete. She made me a different person, a better person and from that point on I felt like I didn't want to live my life without making a difference. When my daughter was about 1 years old I met a women who was a surrogate and literally from that moment on I was intrigue and began to research it. I would read and think about it and then let it go and so on but it always seem to be in the back of my mind. I realized it was God's plan for me, it was my way of making a difference and Lord knows I had no idea what a blessing it would be to so many.

My first surrogacy journey started in 2001. After knowing that surrogacy was something that was apart of me and something I was meant to do I contacted an agency and got set up to become a surrogate. I was listed as a Gestational Surrogate which means I am only the carrier and the baby is no part of me by DNA. I was matched with a single man named Steve who had two sons through surrogacy already. I couldn't imagine why he would want more kids so when I talked to him and he explained to me that he had frozen embryos left and to him they were children. So he would use them all and let God determine how many children he would have. After getting past my reservations and getting to know him and his boys I knew more children would be a blessing to this family. We talked on the phone and via email but did not meet in person before the transfer. I flew to Canada with my mother in law in tow (I was to scared to go alone and Steve couldn't make the transfer) and got ready for my very first IVF process. 3 frozen 3 day embryos were transfer and the 2 week waiting period to find out if they took began. It was so hard to sit and wait I didn't test never even thought to but sadly it did not take and I wasn't pregnant. We immediately began the process again and once again I flew to Canada this time alone. I was very excited and determined that this time would be it this time I decided to test and everyday got nothing so when it was time to go for the blood drawn I was so sad and knew it didn't work but that September our second IVF attempt had taken and I was pregnant. Even though all the pee test came back negative I was in deed pregnant.

I was very sick for the first 3 months as I had been with my daughter. I did not work and enjoyed being pregnant and being home with Rylee. I met Steve for the first time when I was a few months along and we spent a few days together getting to know each other. His boys were so cute and only made me feel more comfortable with the choice I had made. We continued to talk by phone and email as he lives in another state and the further along I got the more excited I got. I loved being a surrogate!

I enjoyed my pregnancy and found that most people were clueless about surrogacy. Rylee was very young and didn't understand the process at all she didn't even know I was pregnant so there wasn't much to explain to her. Steve was supportive but it did take some adjusting to on both our parts. I had made many new friends during this time in my life and I was set to go to Dallas for a moms meet up and I thought to myself maybe I shouldn't go I had Rylee at 36wks and this is kinda pushing it. I had a OB appt that day ad told my friends if everything is ok than I will go with yall. I went to my appt and was sent straight over to the hospital. My blood pressure was high and I was diagnosed with pre-clamsia, they were going to monitor me and I was told I wouldn't be able to go home and would have to stay in the hospital for the next week or so till it was time to deliver. Well that didn't take long because my blood pressure wouldn't come down so it was decided that I would be induced the next day. I called Steve to let him know and he packed up the family and headed our way. The induction was started on he was on his way, he called to check in and said I have a surprise for you. I'm thinking a surprise woohoo i'm excited. :) After an intense labor of 7.5 hours at 37 weeks Amber 7lbs 3oz and 20inches long was born 3 weeks early on Father's day in 2003.

She was such a precious baby girl and I enjoyed the time we spent together before she went home. Steve was so great about giving me all the time I wanted and needed with her. I had prepared myself for how it would be when she went home and her not being my baby however I didn't prepare myself for what would come shortly after she left. I had to stay longer because my blood pressure still hadn't stabilized so I gave my kisses and hugs to all and off she went and than I began to cry and cry and cry. A nurse came in and tried to console me saying its ok

So lets not forget about my surprise Steve told me about well there she is (above) the little baby girl I am holding in my arms named Ruby. Yup that was my surprised Steve decided to have two surrogates try and get pregnant at the same time hoping at least one of us would get pregnant well both of us got pregnant but the other surrogate delivered way early so by the time I had Amber, Ruby was already here and ready to meet her sister. At first I was shocked and then angry, here I was so excited to give him his first daughter when in reality he already had one. :( I felt like he should have told me and well it just wasn't something I wanted to know while in labor.  However I quickly realized how excited he was to introduce me to Miss Ruby and I could see there was no ill intentions on his part also its not required of him to tell me anything so I decided to embrace the moment and love on both girls and was thankful Amber had a sister.

I saw Amber again when she was 4 months old. It was so nice to spend the day with her while Steve took care of business. She smiled at me the whole day and I always believed she knew who I was.

Since she lives in another state I have watched her grow on-line through photos and updates and I never forget her birthday. Amber now has 6 siblings the youngest being a set of twins, all through surrogacy. She is a happy little girl and I am so thankful Steve has allowed me to be in her life. Amber calls me her mommy in Texas and it truly touches my heart.

 (Left)Ruby and Amber(Right)

Thank you Steve