Fifth Surrogacy ~ Madelyn & Joshua

Posted in November of 2010

After the loss of Emily I knew I wanted to do another journey so I started looking thinking it would take a while. I couldn't imagine the last child I would ever deliver would be a sleeping angel and that all the happiness that surrogacy had brought me was over shadowed by this terrible situation. I always wanted to do surrogacy because it was a passion for me now I need to do a surrogacy, I need that happy ending for me and a wonderful set of intended parents (IP's) that deserve this gift.

I started looking in July, I had my list of what I was looking for and most importantly I wanted a local couple that was going to be apart of the process. I signed up with a couple local agencies hoping that would increase my chance of finding a local couple and it did I actually got a lot of response but it seemed no one was right. I talked and even met with a few couples but the spark just wasn't there. I started to think I would never find the right couple and not because I wasn't patient but because I didn't trust them. I realize these were couples I would have worked with in a heart beat in the past but now I am picking them to pieces and it was my fear. I got an email from a lady responding to an Ad I had placed in August, she had a couple that she wanted to know if I would work with. I sent her my information but didn't hear anything back, I decided I needed to back off and stop looking I was to emotional and I needed to place it in God's hands. In early September I got a email from the same lady about that couple again she said they were in San Antonio and liked my profile I was excited as we seemed to agree on all the big stuff and they were ready to move forward now. That night or the next day I can't remember I called the intended mom (IM) who we will call J to talk to her and then we decided to meet for dinner. That week we met for dinner with our spouses in tow and FINALLY there was the spark there was that immediate "this is the couple for me" feeling I had always gotten in the past. There were no red flags and everything just felt so right so we were MATCHED.

Since we are not going through a agency a lot of communication is done directly between us and not a 3rd person which is something I am not used to but it has proved to be awesome I love not having the middle man in all our business. Contracts were done and screening was also done in October and we are on our way or so we thought. I was excited to be using a local clinic here in SA but quickly realized things were not going to move very quickly with this clinic and they seemed to put up more hurdles for us than helping us get things in order. We decided it would be best to use the Florida clinic that they already had a relationship with and things once again started moving forward. I was excited to start medication on the 10th of November and I have already had a lining check is everything is good we are looking to transfer mid to late December.

However last week we hit another hurdle, I got a call from the clinic that my blood work showed I carried the JKB Kidd antigen and if the intended father (IF) who we will call J has it, it will affect the baby. Basically my red blood cells start attacking the baby causing anemia, from what we have read it looks like it would be a minor issue but now we wait for the blood results from J to come in and then talk with a specialist. So at this point we may have come all this way for our journey to already be over. :( I am trying to stay positive and pray for God's will over this journey but its hard because I feel like this is the best couple for me and I know I can give them a baby. They have gone through so much and are so deserving! I am still staying on track with medication and appointments as we wait to hear something hopefully this week.

So in a nut shell in July I started looking for IP's, in September I was matched, in October contracts were signed and screening was done, now in November I started medication and we are suppose to have our first transfer in December.

I communicate almost everyday in some way either phone, text, FB or email with one or both of my IP's. I have truly enjoyed getting to know them and pray our journey is just the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

WE WILL BE MOVING FORWARD!

We haven't gotten the results back on the JKB Kidd antigen but decided either way our journey will continue.

While we are taking a risk by moving forward we are all aware of the risk and after getting medical options we all feel the risk are low. The risk of the antibody effecting the baby is low and if it does there is monitoring and procedures that can be done throughout the pregnancy to help the baby. Its a scary place to be in but because I feel God has placed me where I am I have faith that he will bless us and any future pregnancy. On the down side of this all I feel like even when we do get pregnant J & J are going to be so nervous about "if" something is going to happen it will take away from the sheer fact that they are actually pregnant. Fear is a powerful emotion, one that can rob us and many things and I pray it doesn't rob them of the wonderful experience of a pregnancy.

I am excited that in just a couple of days it will be December and the count down to our first IVF attempt will be here. My IM will be traveling with me and while its not the first time I have had an IM by my side it has been a while and I am happy she will be with me.